


Peach Gets Cyberbullied

by Chrysanthos



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: RIP Peach, don't take this seriously, gamer rage, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 23:31:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7128434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrysanthos/pseuds/Chrysanthos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Princess Peach just wants to play video games.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peach Gets Cyberbullied

"Shit mother of fuck!!" Came the scream from the Princess' room, and Toadsworth was immediately at her door. Barging in without so much as a by-your-leave, he said, "Is anything the matter, milady?!"

 

It was another day in the Mushroom Kingdom, and Princess Peach had just lost her seven straight online match in Skullgirls 2nd Encore.

 

"Oh, it's nothing really important, Toadsworth!" Princess Peach said, a waver in her cheery voice as she changed her ensemble around a bit -- Parasoul to lead, obviously, but this time, instead of Filia and Fukua, maybe she could use Squigly and Eliza. "I'm just rather annoyed at this opponent!"

 

"I see..." Toadsworth said, not really seeing, "Is it the same opponent over and over again?"

 

"As a matter of fact, yes! But they always lead in with Valentine, so you'd think I'd have divined some sort of countermeasure!" Princess Peach said as she chose the stage this time: Glass Canopy. As the waltz tuned in, and Parasoul and Valentine got into place, Princess Peach adopted an incredibly fierce look of determination.

 

Of course, this just made it incredibly hilarious when Princess Peach was completely destroyed by her opponent. Even worse, just before the final blow, they had switched into Big Band, who pulled off a Satchmo Solo before, insultingly, playing the "Happy Birthday" song and then delivering the mother of all TUBATUBATUBATUBATUBA's.

 

"SHITFUCK!" Princess Peach screamed, tearing her XBox 360 out of the wall, to Toadsworth's shock. In quick form, she had taken out her PlayStation 4 and plugged THAT in, quickly turning on her copy of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven. Selecting her normal team of Yukako Yamagishi and Giorno Giovanna, she began to play online, decimating others until her Skullgirls-induced rage died down.

 

That is, until the fateful encounter.

 

It was just another match: Princess Peach's Yukako and Giorno, vs some unlucky sap's Mariah and Weather Report. Toadsworth noticed the opponent's handle, but didn't think to warn his lady until it was too late.

 

Princess Peach was annihilated.

 

She stared in shock at her controller, then at Mariah and Weather's win poses, then at Toadsworth, who had gone pale. Then, numbly, she shrugged, accepted it as a regular loss, and went for another match.

 

And came across the same team.

 

And again. And again. And again.

 

Princess Peach's eye began to twitch. Toadsworth backed away a bit, but unfortunately for him, the doors were locked from the outside. He spoke up, hoping that she would spare him and help unlock the door.

 

"M-Milady... Isn't this the same person who was giving you grief in the other game?" He ventured.

 

A beat.

 

"GOD FUCK!!!" Princess Peach roared, turning off the PS4 with such ferocity it was a wonder it didn't explode. She stomped over to her PC and logged into Overwatch, and, selecting her usual hero D.Va, launched herself into FPS therapy.

 

The match was a payload mission, and, at some point, Princess Peach managed to activate her ultimate. She inwardly cheered. This would get her Pla-

 

She was sniped.

 

Thank god Mercy was there with her Revival on ha-

 

Mercy got sniped.

 

And then Princess Peach got sniped again.

 

God dammit.

 

About five minutes later, the match ended with a loss for Princess Peach's team. As the cinematic for Play of the Game began, she felt her eye twitch.

 

"Play of the Game: HYLINA as HANZO"

 

As the playback showed the Hanzo sniping a D.Va as she jumped out of her mech, then the Mercy reviving her, then the same D.Va, Princess Peach felt like screaming.

 

So she did.

 

\--------

 

It was another day in Hyrule, and Princess Zelda was having the time of her life cyberbullying Princess Peach on every possible game.

 

That'll teach her to insult Lon Lon Ranch's milk by saying that Isle Delfino's dairy products tasted better.

**Author's Note:**

> Working title: Zelda Cyberbullies Peach
> 
> Inspiration: I was playing Melee with my girlfriend and it came down to me as Zelda v a CPU Peach and I destroyed her while saying "This is like, Cyberbullying".
> 
> How did she do that? Hilda, probably.


End file.
